Hey Mr. Comfort What About the Coconut?

Ray Comfort and his celebrity shill Kirk Cameron like to make the argument that bananas are perfect for people to eat, therefore they were created by god. They say that the banana changes color so you know when it’s ripe, it is easy to peel because it has a “pull tab” on top, and it fits in your hand (coincidentally it can fit in your rectum too). Of course, they are ignoring the fact that natural bananas are nothing like the bananas you buy in the supermarket, the bananas we eat were bred that way by humans. They also forget about all the food that isn’t easy for us to eat, for example coconuts.

Coconuts are brown, they have weird hairy stuff on them, and they don’t look edible from the outside. Coconuts grow high up on palm trees and can fall and hurt people since they have a hard shell. The hard shell makes it difficult to get to the edible part of the nut, oh and the edible part of the nut is called endosperm. I’m pretty sure somewhere in Leviticus it says not to eat sperm. Climbing a palm tree to harvest coconuts isn’t an easy task either. The trunk of the tree is smooth and there aren’t any branches to grab onto. This is just one example of a food that isn’t a convenient snack produced by Christ Foods Inc. (try their Transubstantiation Crackers, they’re so crispy, they’ll make you scream “Jesus Christ”).

A good example of a plant that seems to be made just for humans is hemp. Hemp can be grown easily, indoors or outdoors, if you can keep a fern alive, you can grow weed. Hemp grows quickly and can be harvested multiple times during the growing season. The fibers in hemp are among some of the strongest in the plant world. Until the 20th century, hemp was the most widely grown crop in the world. And let us not forget, you can smoke it, vaporize it, make brownies with it, and get high, because the chemical in it (thc) just happens to affect our brains in a way that makes us happy. Good looking out god, virtual high five!

And there are many other things god has created just for us. He gave us head lice, which is convenient because your arms get a workout from itching. He also gave us anthrax, which can kill humans quickly even in small doses, which is nice if you’re ummm, I guess trying to kill people quickly. He gave us mosquitoes which leave itchy bumps and can carry deadly diseases like malaria and West Nile virus, but they are so much fun to watch fly into a bug zapper. That god fellow sure does know how to make some cool stuff!


One response to “Hey Mr. Comfort What About the Coconut?

  1. Did you see Kirk Cameron on his Nightline debate when he held up these pictures of a “crocoduck” and a “bullfrog” (a frog with bull’s horns) and claimed that scientists were looking for these “transitional forms.”

    It was funny in a pathetic way, I’ve got a clip:

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