Tag Archives: agnostic

The Myth of Christian Morality

Christians like to make the claim that atheists can’t be good moral people because they do not believe in a god or some kind of afterlife reward or punishment. This claim is utterly false. A belief in god is not needed in order to respect the social contract. The social contract is a set of unwritten rules(some of the rules are written in the ten commandments) that members in our society generally follow because it is what’s best for everyone. Things like not stealing, raping (a heinous crime that is suspiciously missing from the ten commandments), or killing people are all part of the social contract. The golden rule of “do unto others as you would have others do unto you” sums up the social contract nicely. Religion is not needed to enforce this, in fact religion does little to enforce it.

The threat of eternal damnation or the promise of an eternity in paradise is not an effective way to control human behavior. The reason for this is that it isn’t immediate. When I believed in god I wasn’t worried about it because dealing with god’s anger was something I wouldn’t have to worry about for fifty or sixty years, plus as long as I said “Sorry god, I screwed up”, before I died everything would be okay. If I wanted to I could have gone out and raped and killed thirty-seven eight year old girls and as long as I told Jesus sorry, I would get the eternal reward and no punishment. But here on Earth, I can receive immediate punishment, from my fellow citizens, right now.

If I walk into a building with a gun and open fire, when the police catch me, I will go to jail immediately, not to mention I have to live with the knowledge that I ended other people’s lives. That is more of a deterrent than maybe, possibly, feeling the wrath of god when I die, if I don’t ask for forgiveness beforehand. The human desire for forgiveness is likely why christianity has spread over so much of the world. Feeling like god has forgiven us, allows us to clear our consciences. We are no longer responsible to ourselves or our fellow man, only to an absent authority figure who will forgive us of even the most horrible things. Members of the mafia are famously catholic, these criminals do horrible, horrible things and then go to church and confess and they are forgiven by their god and someday they will get their ultimate prize. They don’t learn their lesson. They aren’t told not to do it again, they walk out of the church and go back to committing the same crimes and repeat the process all over again.

Perhaps, if we were all more concerned with our responsibility to our species and it’s propagation, like every other animal on the planet, we would think twice before doing something that would hurt someone else. Perhaps we would be less likely to send our young people to war, if we didn’t think they would get to go to heaven if they die. Maybe if we all knew that this was our only life, there aren’t any do-overs, and we are only responsible to ourselves and our communities, we would be more inclined to love than to hate, to heal than to hurt, to help than to shun. Maybe, just maybe, we could make the world a better place.

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Hey Mr. Comfort What About the Coconut?

Ray Comfort and his celebrity shill Kirk Cameron like to make the argument that bananas are perfect for people to eat, therefore they were created by god. They say that the banana changes color so you know when it’s ripe, it is easy to peel because it has a “pull tab” on top, and it fits in your hand (coincidentally it can fit in your rectum too). Of course, they are ignoring the fact that natural bananas are nothing like the bananas you buy in the supermarket, the bananas we eat were bred that way by humans. They also forget about all the food that isn’t easy for us to eat, for example coconuts.

Coconuts are brown, they have weird hairy stuff on them, and they don’t look edible from the outside. Coconuts grow high up on palm trees and can fall and hurt people since they have a hard shell. The hard shell makes it difficult to get to the edible part of the nut, oh and the edible part of the nut is called endosperm. I’m pretty sure somewhere in Leviticus it says not to eat sperm. Climbing a palm tree to harvest coconuts isn’t an easy task either. The trunk of the tree is smooth and there aren’t any branches to grab onto. This is just one example of a food that isn’t a convenient snack produced by Christ Foods Inc. (try their Transubstantiation Crackers, they’re so crispy, they’ll make you scream “Jesus Christ”).

A good example of a plant that seems to be made just for humans is hemp. Hemp can be grown easily, indoors or outdoors, if you can keep a fern alive, you can grow weed. Hemp grows quickly and can be harvested multiple times during the growing season. The fibers in hemp are among some of the strongest in the plant world. Until the 20th century, hemp was the most widely grown crop in the world. And let us not forget, you can smoke it, vaporize it, make brownies with it, and get high, because the chemical in it (thc) just happens to affect our brains in a way that makes us happy. Good looking out god, virtual high five!

And there are many other things god has created just for us. He gave us head lice, which is convenient because your arms get a workout from itching. He also gave us anthrax, which can kill humans quickly even in small doses, which is nice if you’re ummm, I guess trying to kill people quickly. He gave us mosquitoes which leave itchy bumps and can carry deadly diseases like malaria and West Nile virus, but they are so much fun to watch fly into a bug zapper. That god fellow sure does know how to make some cool stuff!

Where is Your God Now Fred Phelps?

The infamous Westboro Baptist Church, known for it’s protests of homosexuals at the funerals of Iraq war veterans, because there are obviously a lot of queers in the military, was the victim of arson this weekend.  I am stunned, as I thought god only brought down his anger upon the non-believers and sodomites (little known fact, god hates butt sex, he had a bad experience at summer camp).  Mr. Phelps claims that US soldiers die in Iraq, not because George Dubya Bush sent them to fight an illegal war for profit, but because the US tolerates homosexuals (by tolerate I mean that we let them do their thing but deny them any kind of rights as couples, because the good lord made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, Steve is definitely not a biblical name).

There were two church members sleeping in the church when the fire broke out, obviously these individuals were having anal sex, they forgot to use some lube, and the friction caused a spark that ignited god’s fury and damn near burnt the place to the ground, but thanks to god (and the Westboro Fire Department) the church was saved, although it incurred $30,000 in damage.  Fred Phelps wrote a letter to the US Attorney General asking him to investigate this as a hate crime.  I would have to agree that this may qualify as a hate crime, although that is hard to prove since there isn’t any evidence that it was a hate crime other than the fact that the church is full of douchebags.  I don’t condone lighting places on fire to protest things, I would recommend a protest with a bunch of half-naked flamboyant homosexuals on gay pride parade floats in front of the church.  The only problems with this is that the Westboro Bapist Church is located between Nowhere and East Fucking Nowhere, so it isn’t likely to attract much attention.

Mr. Phelps, your imaginary god may hate fags, but reasonable people hate you.